Crafting and Cooking with Maradino! A guide for urban & feral bachelors.
Part I: The Bachelor's Guide to Crafting
"Because girls 'll put ribbons 'n' bows on your clubs 'n' axes!" Maradino the All-knowing
Wherter you're lost in a metropolis or the untrodden wilds, a proper bachelor can caraft all he needs to survive an orc ambush or a singles ball!
Let's have a look at some of Maradino's classics:
A good arrow starts with its shaft. You can make your own arrow shafts out of any tree branch. All it takes is a knife. Then create your own special arrowheads to really surprise the enemy, but we'll leave that for another chapter.
If you think a dagger takes you too up close and personal to an ugly enemy's face, try sticking it at the end of a tree branch so you can poke him from a bit of a distance.
If you're not the stabbing type, glue two branches together and you've got yourself a staff!
Part II: The Bachelor's Guide to Cooking
"Because girls' dishes take ages and come with too many vegetables!"
Maradino the All-perceiving
Prepare yourself for the most versatile dish around, one that I have dubbed teh Cysealian Pie! All you need is a wheel of dough and whatever toppings take your fancy. Flesh, fish or those funny mushrooms? Yours is the choice!
Urban bachelors: prepare your pie and slide it in the oven! Feral bachelors: prepare your pie and heat it over a low fire
You can't go amiss with a Cyselian Pie, the Ultimate Bachelor Sustenance! (* The delicious smell may attract hungry, savage creatures. Maradino cannot be held responsible for the death of pie-baking feral bachelors.)
Here are some of Maradino's favourites:
First off, prepare your dough. All it takes is some flour and water.
This is your base ingredient for bread, but you can turn it into cheese bread dough (with cheese), or Cysealian Pie dough (with fish), or ven a pizza (with pizza sauce). To make pizza sauce, just smash a tomato. With a hammer for all I care! Ha!